[TKOSINM] 259 – Anger Cannot Turn Back Time

After reading the diary to the end, Irene dropped it.

Rene, you say…

The hidden child of the former Empress’ Rene’. A character had been removed from her name.

A coincidence…

She wanted to believe it was a coincidence. It didn’t make sense at all. I… am the Empress’s daughter?

However, no matter how hard she tried to deny it, her aunt’s voice, who firmly called ‘Rene’, did not leave her mind.

“Ah….”

Maybe it was because she received a considerable shock; Irene choked on her breath for a moment. She slumped down on the ground.

Irene bent her torso, caught her breath. She looked at the fallen diary with red eyes.

 She then reached out, grabbed the diary, and began to read.

[Imperial Calendar May 1175. A lot has happened in the past three years. I returned safely to the Viscounty, escaping the Hwang army, and reported to the prince… No, Rene is my niece. In my heart, I wanted to register her as my daughter, but it was impossible because the emperor knew that I was infertile. I contacted my younger brother and his wife, who had cut ties for a long time to deceive the emperor. At first, my brother and sister-in-law were sceptical and said they would stay low for now, but for some reason, they suddenly announced that they would take Rene from my mansion.

From the time she was born, he said that Riel’s body was weak. It seemed like he was tricking Rene into making her Riel’s nanny, but I had no choice but to let her go because I would die soon.

Recently, I became weak and had to see a doctor. The answer that came back was that it was an unknown incurable disease. 

I don’t know how much time I have left, but it won’t be long. One day, when I suddenly die, there is no one to protect Rene, so I had to send Rene to the Count in tears.

Rene’s tiny hand, which grabbed my sleeve, saying she didn’t want to go, still lingers in my eyes.]

She closed her eyes.

After a moment, Irene slowly opened her eyes and turned to the page over.

[Sorry, Empress Dowager. I was never able to keep your daughter by my side. But this was the best. I, too, will be following you sooner or later. This day will be the last day. I don’t know who will see this diary, so I’m going to seal it in a secret place with your portrait. And in the future, I will arrange for Rene to find this diary. So, don’t worry too much and wait for me.]

As Irene read the diary, her eyes trembled.

[And one day, you will read this diary, Rene, my princess.]

It felt as if the Viscountess was speaking those words right in front of her. Princess. 

The ink spread as if the period at the end of the sentence had smeared with tears long dried.

Feeling the Viscountess’ complicated emotions, Irene could only blankly stare into the air.

After so long, Irene managed to move her gaze to her next row.

[My worries about you may be wrong. Maybe you’re happy…

This diary may come as a harsh truth to you. Rene, if you are happy now, discard this diary and never think of it again. Just bury it in your memory and settle for the present happiness. Forget about your birth parents and who you really are. You have to live as Irene Chase, as you are now.

But if you feel unhappy, never forget the contents of this diary. And I hope you always act boldly. You are more precious than anyone else.

And finally, Rene, my dear princess. Don’t forget that Empress Dowager and my heart for you will not change. Your eternal ally.]

“… Auntie…”

The diary finally closed on this date. Irene covered the diary and shut her eyes tightly.

She couldn’t believe the contents of the diary straight away, but her family’s past and attitude, who treated her as if she were someone else, proved that the contents of this diary were true.

Everything I believed in was a lie… Then what on earth have I done till now?

As much as she was shocked, the disappointment was significant to her. Her aunt and parents deceived her. Perhaps Riel knew this from the start.

You don’t even know yourself; why are you so proud?

No, Sister doesn’t know. If it weren’t for my family, you’d have died right away. What are you so proud of?

Suddenly, she remembered what Riel had said to her at Jasmine’s tea party. At the time, she thought they were just words to shake herself, but after reading the diary, she could understand the meaning behind those words.

How foolish I must have been.

Irene clenched her fists and bit her lower lip. But she soon relaxed from her body and stood up.

“Being angry doesn’t change anything.”